Hairesy
Hairesy.
GEDDIT?
Yes, yes. Priceless.
No, this isn’t permanent. It’s purely because we’ve had no razors in the house for weeks (I’m poor; shut your mouth), and wanted to entertain myself before finally shaving off 6 weeks of fluff now my last set of royalties has cleared.
Yes, I’m aware I look a little bit like Tim Bisley and/or Jim Gaffigan.
Yes, I’m aware Tim Bisley was a loser and Jim Gaffigan is scruffy and overweight.
Yes, I’m aware I have a chicken pox scar on my forehead and my smile has been one-sided since childhood, thus making me look like I had a stroke. It was really just meningitis at age 8.
Now that I’ve insulted myself and headed you cunts off at the pass, you can refrain from being mean. I call this technique “Pre-sulting”, which is a scheme I can teach to your office, oil rig, or other place of business for the bargain price of $999.99 (before expenses).
By the way, I totally have a Horus Heresy meeting tomorrow. I promise to tell you all about it.
Aaron Dembski-Bowden 
Spike really let himself go after Buffy ended.
I can’t believe you were mean. I pre-sulted and everything.
You think this means nothing. But it doesn’t. It means something. My grudgebearing skills would win awards. I shall now turn them upon you.
Sorry man. Tell you what, I’ll buy an e-copy of The Emperor’s Gift at lunchtime. I’m sure your generous contract with BL will then net you at the very least 1/10th of the price of a haircut. Dealio?
Magnificent post–sult!
Yeah, you already covered it there, but you really do look like you’re on your way to a costume competition at a Spaced convention. See if you can get Katie to do herself up to look like Daisy and get some pictures while there’s still time.
You don’t have razors, but you do have hair bleach? That’s just weird! The hair is kinda cute on you, though… Turns out, Katie isn’t the only little pixie in your house, after all.
No, no. I have razors now. Yesterday, I bought razors, shaving foam, hair bleach, a brush, a broom, goggles, a facemask, and some gloves. Some of that was for my head. The rest is to clean out a shed for a summer DIY project. I’m making a games room.
“Yes, I’m aware I look a little bit like Tim Bisley ” and yet you still wore the Star wars/Empire t-shirt anyway.
Masochist !
Oh, shit me. I hadn’t caught that one myself.
Damn you.
Remember to pack your skateboard when you go, reckon you could do some wicked rail grinds and ollies in the Warhammer World carpark.
I only know what a grind is because of Scott Pilgrim. That’s how cool I am.
This will sound a little fruity, but i swear its meant in sort of a bro-gratz way but its looks like you have lost weight. Keep the hair and go for a bright red. It’s kind of a way against rebelling against growing up.
If he went red, he’d look like Simon Pegg.
Why wouldn’t you do the side levers buddy? What’s doing with that
Because they’re staying. The hair is not.
Fair enough but it looks like they are uneven. As this is a safe no mean zone I will just say, good luck with trying not to come out like a tool with that haha
I think you may be confusing “Isn’t this funny? I’m shaving it off tomorrow,” with “I’m trying to look awesome and totally spent ages on a three-second dye job.”
I’ve tried the same thing. It doesn’t work. I managed to cut myself shaving the sides were uneven and you get this strange chemical look on what’s left. My mate said I was the biggest wank bag ever and tried the same thing but ended up with a nice chemical burn. Good times
… the fuck??
That is the sum total of all my skateboarding knowledge. I had one as, you know, “all the other boys had one”, but never really got the hang of it. Or enjoyed falling over and flaying the skin off of my arms and legs. Especially not when I had my homebrewed Space Hulk rules et al to work on. Mankind spent centuries inventing shelter, heating and electrical lighting, I see no reason to spurn the honest work of those who came before me.
I think your American fans might start making random Top Gun references. You kind of look like Iceman with a no-shave chit. Okay, and a bit of homicidal rage. But I think that’s the kid-induced sleepless nights talking.
WordPress hates me. Just made a fairly unsubtle comparison between you and Val Kilmer’s character in Top Gun, but because I wasn’t logged in, it apparently ate the damn thing.
WordPress Fail: Me.
I’m not sure how things are on your side of the Pond, but if you were to get some Shutter Shades, you would fit right in with the”Hipsters” of my generation back here in Amurika.
❤
Not sure how things are over on that side of the Pond, but with a pair of Shutter Shades, you could totally pull off the “Hipster” look.
❤
I hate you, WordPress.
Was just thinking that Simon Pegg buffed up a bit!
I think you look dastardly, beguiling and handsome as ever but that’s just me 🙂
Great. Now I will have to endure this Billy Idol brain worm for the remainder of the day. “With a rebel yell …she cried more more more” damn you!
Is this the part when I say “You got red on you?” *Shaun of the dead reference*
Also bring back much gossip about everybodys upcoming projects. Names, locations, titles. Everything you can grab onto.
Hey, Ive always had a one-sided smile myself.
Here’s another gent you look like:
If it wasn’t for the whole “hating everybody’s fucking faces” thing, I’d suggest this you’d make a great Mirror Universe you. Now go back to bald and being badass. Like Sisko.
Lookit that sexy beast… 😉
Simon Pegg in that episode of Doctor Who. Full Stop.
Whoah! That’s nuts!
Also, I see the weight loss is going well. It shows in your face. Well done, good sir 🙂
If it wasn’t for the whole hating “everybody’s fucking faces” I might suggest that this you would make a good Mirror Universe you. Now shave your head and reclaim being a badass. Like Sisko…
As long as you don’t start insisting you are “the Emprah’s fureh” the world is safe.
Loved Emperors gift and plan on making you a knight.
Want me to send my spare clippers( new in box)?
I am very partciular and only use conair,my girl bought me one for xmas I do not like.
You look a bit like Spike from Buffy. Perhaps consider making that permanent, and getting a leather jacket. 😀
LotN
I get that you’re poor. The other half of us coming to an understanding would entail that you accept that, as a poor person, you are at the mercy of your financial betters (that is, until your checks inevitably start coming in and you become rich, thereby rendering every word after this pointless). So, as your financial better, I offer you this Devil’s Bargain:
Start working on a Dark Angels novel (Heresy, 40k, or anywhere in-between… your choice)… and I will ensure that your haircuts go for free from the day you start on said novel until the day you finish it. Know as well that I am magnanimous in my dealings, and irresponsible to boot: I shall require no updates, no reveals, no spoilers, and will contend myself with your word as a gentleman (and a blood oath against unspeakable punishments, should you fail to produce prior to my death) that said novel will be done.
I eagerly await to find out exactly how desperate your hair-based needs are.
Sincerely,
P.
The bald look suits you better Brother Captain. I have contributed to your razor fund recently in the purchase of Butcher’s Nails and The Emperors Gift. I got hooked on you after your first Night Lords novel (Tell First Claw their treachery is duly noted.) and loved Butcher’s Nails. Still enjoying my way through Emperor’s Gift. The opening sequence of dehumanizing Hyperion was one the the most intense openings of a Sci-Fi novel I have read in decades. As an old school Rogue Trader I also appreciate the reference to mind wiping in reference to Cpt. Castor. While I enjoy the fluff immensely some the the ret-conning sets ill with one who cut his teeth on the Realm of Chaos Tomes and uber-mutated Chaos Marines. Keep up the good work. I’ve only started reading the Gift and have finished half of it in 2 days. I’m a Yank but I do have extra razor’s if you need them air couriered.
all im going to say is this
u look a lil like simon peg in spaced in this pic!
A striking resemblance to
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erik_Everhard