Aaron Dembski-Bowden

Don't worry. None of this blood is mine.




Yes, yes. Priceless.

No, this isn’t permanent. It’s purely because we’ve had no razors in the house for weeks (I’m poor; shut your mouth), and wanted to entertain myself before finally shaving off 6 weeks of fluff now my last set of royalties has cleared.

Yes, I’m aware I look a little bit like Tim Bisley and/or Jim Gaffigan.

Yes, I’m aware Tim Bisley was a loser and Jim Gaffigan is scruffy and overweight.

Yes, I’m aware I have a chicken pox scar on my forehead and my smile has been one-sided since childhood, thus making me look like I had a stroke. It was really just meningitis at age 8.

Now that I’ve insulted myself and headed you cunts off at the pass, you can refrain from being mean. I call this technique “Pre-sulting”, which is a scheme I can teach to your office, oil rig, or other place of business for the bargain price of $999.99 (before expenses).

By the way, I totally have a Horus Heresy meeting tomorrow. I promise to tell you all about it.

May 9, 2012 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. Spike really let himself go after Buffy ended.

    Comment by Graeme | May 9, 2012 | Reply

    • I can’t believe you were mean. I pre-sulted and everything.

      You think this means nothing. But it doesn’t. It means something. My grudgebearing skills would win awards. I shall now turn them upon you.

      Comment by Aaron Dembski-Bowden | May 9, 2012 | Reply

      • Sorry man. Tell you what, I’ll buy an e-copy of The Emperor’s Gift at lunchtime. I’m sure your generous contract with BL will then net you at the very least 1/10th of the price of a haircut. Dealio?

        Comment by Graeme | May 9, 2012 | Reply

    • Magnificent post–sult!

      Comment by Kodanshi | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  2. Yeah, you already covered it there, but you really do look like you’re on your way to a costume competition at a Spaced convention. See if you can get Katie to do herself up to look like Daisy and get some pictures while there’s still time.

    Comment by MythicFox | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  3. You don’t have razors, but you do have hair bleach? That’s just weird! The hair is kinda cute on you, though… Turns out, Katie isn’t the only little pixie in your house, after all.

    Comment by Nicola Abnett | May 9, 2012 | Reply

    • No, no. I have razors now. Yesterday, I bought razors, shaving foam, hair bleach, a brush, a broom, goggles, a facemask, and some gloves. Some of that was for my head. The rest is to clean out a shed for a summer DIY project. I’m making a games room.

      Comment by Aaron Dembski-Bowden | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  4. “Yes, I’m aware I look a little bit like Tim Bisley ” and yet you still wore the Star wars/Empire t-shirt anyway.

    Masochist !

    Comment by Reds8n | May 9, 2012 | Reply

    • Oh, shit me. I hadn’t caught that one myself.

      Damn you.

      Comment by Aaron Dembski-Bowden | May 9, 2012 | Reply

      • Remember to pack your skateboard when you go, reckon you could do some wicked rail grinds and ollies in the Warhammer World carpark.

        Comment by Reds8n | May 9, 2012 | Reply

        • I only know what a grind is because of Scott Pilgrim. That’s how cool I am.

          Comment by Aaron Dembski-Bowden | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  5. This will sound a little fruity, but i swear its meant in sort of a bro-gratz way but its looks like you have lost weight. Keep the hair and go for a bright red. It’s kind of a way against rebelling against growing up.

    Comment by Bigyin | May 9, 2012 | Reply

    • If he went red, he’d look like Simon Pegg.

      Comment by Escobar Tracy | June 20, 2012 | Reply

  6. Why wouldn’t you do the side levers buddy? What’s doing with that

    Comment by Brad | May 9, 2012 | Reply

    • Because they’re staying. The hair is not.

      Comment by Aaron Dembski-Bowden | May 9, 2012 | Reply

      • Fair enough but it looks like they are uneven. As this is a safe no mean zone I will just say, good luck with trying not to come out like a tool with that haha

        Comment by Brad | May 9, 2012 | Reply

      • I think you may be confusing “Isn’t this funny? I’m shaving it off tomorrow,” with “I’m trying to look awesome and totally spent ages on a three-second dye job.”

        Comment by Aaron Dembski-Bowden | May 9, 2012 | Reply

      • I’ve tried the same thing. It doesn’t work. I managed to cut myself shaving the sides were uneven and you get this strange chemical look on what’s left. My mate said I was the biggest wank bag ever and tried the same thing but ended up with a nice chemical burn. Good times

        Comment by Brad | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  7. … the fuck??

    Comment by PW Gresty | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  8. That is the sum total of all my skateboarding knowledge. I had one as, you know, “all the other boys had one”, but never really got the hang of it. Or enjoyed falling over and flaying the skin off of my arms and legs. Especially not when I had my homebrewed Space Hulk rules et al to work on. Mankind spent centuries inventing shelter, heating and electrical lighting, I see no reason to spurn the honest work of those who came before me.

    Comment by Reds8n | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  9. I think your American fans might start making random Top Gun references. You kind of look like Iceman with a no-shave chit. Okay, and a bit of homicidal rage. But I think that’s the kid-induced sleepless nights talking.

    Comment by imberline | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  10. WordPress hates me. Just made a fairly unsubtle comparison between you and Val Kilmer’s character in Top Gun, but because I wasn’t logged in, it apparently ate the damn thing.

    Comment by imberline | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  11. WordPress Fail: Me.

    Comment by imberline | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  12. I’m not sure how things are on your side of the Pond, but if you were to get some Shutter Shades, you would fit right in with the”Hipsters” of my generation back here in Amurika.

    Comment by kyarno | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  13. Not sure how things are over on that side of the Pond, but with a pair of Shutter Shades, you could totally pull off the “Hipster” look.

    Comment by kyarno | May 9, 2012 | Reply

    • I hate you, WordPress.

      Comment by kyarno | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  14. Was just thinking that Simon Pegg buffed up a bit!

    Comment by Stuart Clark | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  15. I think you look dastardly, beguiling and handsome as ever but that’s just me 🙂

    Comment by Heather | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  16. Great. Now I will have to endure this Billy Idol brain worm for the remainder of the day. “With a rebel yell …she cried more more more” damn you!

    Comment by Bitterchick | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  17. Is this the part when I say “You got red on you?” *Shaun of the dead reference*

    Also bring back much gossip about everybodys upcoming projects. Names, locations, titles. Everything you can grab onto.

    Comment by Forkmaster | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  18. Hey, Ive always had a one-sided smile myself.

    Comment by S.A. Grisom | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  19. Here’s another gent you look like:

    Comment by Chris Meyer | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  20. If it wasn’t for the whole “hating everybody’s fucking faces” thing, I’d suggest this you’d make a great Mirror Universe you. Now go back to bald and being badass. Like Sisko.

    Comment by Nathan Herron | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  21. Lookit that sexy beast… 😉

    Comment by big_cheddars | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  22. Simon Pegg in that episode of Doctor Who. Full Stop.

    Comment by Corvus6 | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  23. Whoah! That’s nuts!

    Also, I see the weight loss is going well. It shows in your face. Well done, good sir 🙂

    Comment by Christopher Meyer | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  24. If it wasn’t for the whole hating “everybody’s fucking faces” I might suggest that this you would make a good Mirror Universe you. Now shave your head and reclaim being a badass. Like Sisko…

    Comment by Nathan Herron | May 9, 2012 | Reply

  25. As long as you don’t start insisting you are “the Emprah’s fureh” the world is safe.

    Comment by Alec Stephens | May 10, 2012 | Reply

  26. Loved Emperors gift and plan on making you a knight.
    Want me to send my spare clippers( new in box)?
    I am very partciular and only use conair,my girl bought me one for xmas I do not like.

    Comment by Bigwill | May 10, 2012 | Reply

  27. You look a bit like Spike from Buffy. Perhaps consider making that permanent, and getting a leather jacket. 😀


    Comment by Lord of the Night | May 10, 2012 | Reply

  28. I get that you’re poor. The other half of us coming to an understanding would entail that you accept that, as a poor person, you are at the mercy of your financial betters (that is, until your checks inevitably start coming in and you become rich, thereby rendering every word after this pointless). So, as your financial better, I offer you this Devil’s Bargain:

    Start working on a Dark Angels novel (Heresy, 40k, or anywhere in-between… your choice)… and I will ensure that your haircuts go for free from the day you start on said novel until the day you finish it. Know as well that I am magnanimous in my dealings, and irresponsible to boot: I shall require no updates, no reveals, no spoilers, and will contend myself with your word as a gentleman (and a blood oath against unspeakable punishments, should you fail to produce prior to my death) that said novel will be done.

    I eagerly await to find out exactly how desperate your hair-based needs are.


    Comment by Φοίβος Λαζαρίδης | May 12, 2012 | Reply

  29. The bald look suits you better Brother Captain. I have contributed to your razor fund recently in the purchase of Butcher’s Nails and The Emperors Gift. I got hooked on you after your first Night Lords novel (Tell First Claw their treachery is duly noted.) and loved Butcher’s Nails. Still enjoying my way through Emperor’s Gift. The opening sequence of dehumanizing Hyperion was one the the most intense openings of a Sci-Fi novel I have read in decades. As an old school Rogue Trader I also appreciate the reference to mind wiping in reference to Cpt. Castor. While I enjoy the fluff immensely some the the ret-conning sets ill with one who cut his teeth on the Realm of Chaos Tomes and uber-mutated Chaos Marines. Keep up the good work. I’ve only started reading the Gift and have finished half of it in 2 days. I’m a Yank but I do have extra razor’s if you need them air couriered.

    Comment by nullusbellum | May 14, 2012 | Reply

  30. all im going to say is this

    Comment by Max | May 15, 2012 | Reply

  31. u look a lil like simon peg in spaced in this pic!

    Comment by Theartofabthomas | May 16, 2012 | Reply

  32. A striking resemblance to


    Comment by ADS | July 3, 2012 | Reply

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