The ‘Talon’ Selfie Contest Winners
I thought this should be the first post of 2015.
You probably remember the Honourable Mentions of the ‘Ultimate and Brilliant and Not At All Stupid The Talon of Horus First Edition Selfie Contest’. At long last, here are the winners. I had specific prizes in mind at first for the lovingly themed, life-changingly artistic MS Paint portraits, but in the end my boundless and unbridled creativity took over, and these haunting scenes are the result.
As you can see, these are artfully rendered pieces of raw brain matter; you can tell the artist (me) not only put part of his soul into each piece, but that he offered the very best parts of his heart, as well. I think we can all agree that whoever did these (it was me) is some kind of excellent visual-emotional miracle worker who is totally available to do your heavy metal album cover for a very reasonable fee.
In third place, we have Andrew.
And then, in second place, there’s Darren.
And in first place, we have Pete.
And so this tragic waste of everyone’s time comes to an end.
Bless y’all who sent in selfies – there were a couple hundred in total, including several featuring altogether too much (or… maybe just the right amount?) of naked flesh. Congrats to Andrew, Darren, and Pete, who walk away triumphant with these most dubious of prizes.
For the record, I don’t really hate your hat, Darren. It’s like Star Trek; I just pretend to hate some stuff. The only things I really hate are the Los Angeles Lakers, anyone who’s ever played for the Los Angeles Lakers, and anyone who at any point in their lives have considered themselves a Lakers fan.
Especially this guy. OH GOD LOOK AT HIM MY EYES KILL ME SDNIFEIFEDMWSAUDHWKFQEMDVDVCAWCFV