Aaron Dembski-Bowden

Don't worry. None of this blood is mine.



Part 1! 

Part 2!!

Part 3!!!



You feel Barnabus, your faithful familiar, scratching his draconic ruff or his back spines or whatever, atop your hat. The vista of absolute and unparalleled devastation before you remains unchanged. Perhaps you feel a tremulous, tumescent rush of pleasure at the raw evidence of your might. Perhaps you feel a tingle of regret at, y’know, annihilating an entire settlement because someone raised their voice at you. I don’t know. I’m just the fucking narrator.

“It was like this when I got here, Barnabus,” you lie to your faithful baby dragon familiar. “I wouldn’t lie to you,” you add, lyingly.

Then, in a stunning twist of events, you actually tell the truth: “Also, yes. Here are some breadcrumbs.”

You pull a handful of breadcrumbs from one of your belt pouches, offering them up to the little lizard guy.

“Awesome,” he says, and begins chowing down.  “Thanks, chief. These are tasty. Shame about whatever to this place, huh? Do you think anyone lived here? I bet loads of people did, like, with families and kids and kittens and stuff like that. Maybe we should try to avenge all of them. You know, I bet those evil scargoyles did this! They’re proper knobs, those guys, so– Whoa! What the heck is that!?”

You turn, following your familiar’s reptilian gaze.

‘That’ turns out to be some sort of being. A large, powerful-looking creature cast in opposing shades of black and white, haloed by the rising sun, perhaps in some indication of divinity. Or maybe the ash from the recent destruction is clearing, and it’s just an animal in front of a sunrise. At this point, who even knows.



It regards you in either moronic dumbness or dignified silence.

“Look at that majestic fucker,” Barnabus enthuses. “Should we go see what his or her deal is?”




March 10, 2016 - Posted by | Uncategorized |


  1. I have waited for part 4 for a long time. My prayers were answered.

    Comment by MegaSolipsist | March 10, 2016 | Reply

  2. Aye, never mind those dudes in the Black Legion or that fancy-pants Emperor guy with the big ideas – this is the story I’ve been on tenterhooks for!

    Comment by Wudugast | March 10, 2016 | Reply

  3. Fuck that black and white dick. Travel west. Or north. Yeah, north. Cool things are always in the north. That’s why they put it at the tops of maps. Or maybe travel east.

    Comment by Paul Gresty | March 10, 2016 | Reply

  4. Ahh yes this pleased me a lot.

    Comment by Forkmaster | March 14, 2016 | Reply

  5. ’bout time part 4 turned up. Who needs to freelance anyway when you’ve got important stuff like this to be getting on with 🙂

    Comment by lost_angel | March 28, 2016 | Reply

  6. Pierce Brown recently mentioned that his character Sevro (or more specifically the character’s name) is a reference to Sevarian from The Torturer’s Apprentice. Is Jago Sevetarian (informally known as Sevatar to his drinking buddies) also a reference? I only because of the very similar names and things they do to people.

    Comment by megasolipsist | April 2, 2016 | Reply

  7. The greatest fantasy epic of modern times continues! ABOUT FUCKING TIME. Screw the rest of that Black Library Jazz, crowd fund this or something.

    Comment by Derek Gehring | May 13, 2016 | Reply

  8. for that qa video (don’t have facebook acc) I think you know what I’m going to ask….

    Comment by TheSGC | June 1, 2016 | Reply

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