Shakes Plays Vermintide
(Apologies for the low volume. I no do technology good, apparently.)
Here’s Shakes playing Vermintide in a display of fairly terrible parenting by Yours Truly. I didn’t let him play long (the game is gore-tastic to say the least) but Katie was asleep, so I escaped disapproving bridal stares for a good few hours.
Aaron Dembski-Bowden 
It all seems fine and dandy, but then one day he’ll bring his bright wizard robes and staff to school and torch the place.
No! My least-favourite College of Magic!
I mean, I still love it, but it’s nowhere near my fave.
It’s so cool to watch him become a person
Yes and no.
Yes, because of course.
No, because he does a lot of his personing at 5:49am when he decides he wants Cheerios every morning.
‘I sticked my sword in him and he broke’ what every dad secretly longs to hear their first born say, truly bad ass
A battle cry for the ages.
how is that not been made into a meme
Hmm, that doesn’t look like his first run-through. You should probably run before the better half wakes up 😉
I know, right!?
It is, though it’d be way cooler if it wasn’t.
Hilarious and adorable! Speaking as the parent of a 5 1/2 year old boy and a teacher myself, that’s not terrible parenting. There’s something in little boys’ minds that naturally lends them towards sadism. My little boy, whilst playing Minecraft was heard to exclaim ‘I just shot that cow right in the eye!’ Another time, I caught him spawning Ocelots into a lava pit ‘Just to watch them burn’. He’s taken to building prisons now, first for animals and now people. I’m never buying a house with either a cellar or usable roof space.
That’s some delicious and terrifying perspective, right there.
Since this isn’t it, I’d be interested in what Shakes actually thinks is your worst parenting. Probably making him eat vegetables or take baths you fucking fascist.
I know the answer to this one. He has a wooden sword and shield set; I was showing him how to hold the shield and attack around it with stabbing phalanx-style thrusts, while blocking incoming sofa cushions. This went well for the first four attempts. On the fifth, the cushion knocked he shield back and the rim hit him in the face.
There were tears. It was certainly a time.
Yes. You must indoctrinate him well. Next give him dawn of war so he can betray someone he’s played with for ages like you did
Nuuuu! I betrayed my best friend’s friend, who I barely knew!
…the shame still burns.
that tale is still one of the funniest things ive ever read … i was crying by the time i got done reading it the first time
Dark Gods, that was precious Aaron! I’m in stitches laughing at this!
In all seriousness though, not the worst thing you could do. I mean, I was playing the first Mortal Kombat game when it first came out, and I was three at the time. I think Shakes will be just fine.
you have clearly never heard of the Scottish boom sword my friend.