A Tale of Five Heretics – The Failure Years
Sorry this is a little late. I had a deadline, then the world’s shittiest cold, and then I was back in the motherland seeing Monster Magnet with Graham McNeill. As evidence by this hauntingly grainy yet very treasured selfie, taken during ‘Space Lord’.
Anyway, as promised, here are the photos of what the Heretics sighingly call the Failure Years. This is a grab bag of photos to highlight the best bits, because uploading everything that Eddie and Ead managed to get done in the last 2 years would use all of the internet’s megabots and gigatrikes, which I’m reliably informed are totally real things.
In a few days, I’ll get to our Feb pledges for the rebooted Tale, which – thankfully – are actually going pretty well so far. I’ll also talk about my newest, most annoying, least surprising army change yet.
But for now, I give you the highlights of the Failure Years. Most of these are presented without their army background for now. We’ll shift back into those gears once the first month’s pledges are up and running.
Let’s start strong, with Neil’s Ultramarines. Yes, that lovely guy that does the HH novel covers.
Next up, John’s Blood Angels, which ended up largely being allied Mechanicum because those models Goddamn those Mechanicum models though amirite.
As an aside, John’s first Knight here is from House Orthos – the Knight Household John and I dreamed up together. Orthos was allied with the Blood Angels Legion in the Heresy, and took its oaths down the millennia to the Red Seraphs and the Angels Numinous – the two Blood Angel Successors we’re working on.
Moving on to Ead’s Iron Warriors:
Jesus Christ, that guy likes his tanks. Not looking forward to facing him on the tabletop.
Annnnd here’s Alan with the Alpha Legion:
Cyber-mastiffs always win my heart. As do hammers.
Alan’s still going to guest star in the Tale as we go forward, so expect more from his traitorous, Blanchian brush.
But now, what every fucker and their dog has been waiting for…
Eddie’s Fallen Angels. Let’s start with the Dreadnoughts, Venerable Brothers Claudin and Accolon:
…and here we have Yvain, the Lost Knight of New Caliban:
…sigh. I love Eddie, I really do, but sometimes knowing him is a burden.
Here’s the Black Lion of New Caliban, described by Eddie as (get this, kids) “pre-Daemonification”:
And yes, before you ask, he’s done the Black Lion post-Daemonification, too. Because of course he has.
I find it profoundly difficult to ever pick out one or two details I like in Eddie’s stuff. It’s just this sensory overload of “Jesus Christ, that’s a good idea” moments. I mean, the lion even has tusks, for fuck’s sake. Look at that flail. God, what a lovely scroll. Look at that helm! Dude, those wings. Jesus, plague censer nodules? Man, what a flail. What’s that leash even made from? God, even the base is glorious.
Let’s move on before I grind my teeth to dusty, jealous powder.
That, my pretty chickens, is a Lionstrike Interceptor. Now you know.
This is a Rhino with a havoc launcher.
Let that just sink in for a few minutes. That is a minimally-costed basic transport option in Eddie’s army. That fucker right there.
It’s okay to hate him, you know. Don’t feel bad about it. I sure don’t.
Some daemon allies. Grody.
Eddie refers to these as a “motivated underclass of freedom fighters disenfranchised with an entrenched political class”.
Are we done, yet?
Nope, here’s the Aldurukh-pattern Land Raider, ‘Arrogance’s Redoubt’:
And who’s this?
Then you have the handsome jerks of Veteran Knight-Legionary Squad Durnure:
Closely followed by the Knight-Legionaries of Squad Cadorius:
And lastly, the Havoc Squad, Caliban’s Thunder:
And before we sign off for a few days, let’s just remind y’all of the Failure Years’ true failure.
Here’s a Blood Angel that I got bored of doing:
Here are some Space Wolves that I fucked up when I tried to paint them:
Here’s the usual level of conversation that takes place in our private Facebook group:
Here are some Iron Hands heads I got bored of doing:
Here’s more Facebook chatter in the secret group, wherein Eddie explains his process:
And a brief moment of confession where I reveal the depths of my true feelings:
So, those are the Failure Years, which – for several of the Heretics – were plainly successful, after all.
Up next: February’s pledges from the rebooted Tale, and a squillion words explaining my army idea.
Thought for the Day: “Pooh of the Tau would be a way better book than The Tao of Pooh.”