The Coffee Adventure

You stand in the hallway. To the east is an OFFICE. To the west is a BEDROOM. To the south is a BOOKSHELF with many INTERESTING TOMES. To the north is a STAIRCASE with a GATE and a TINY GUARDIAN. What do you do?

>> chk inv

That is not a valid command. What do you do?

>>check inventory

You check your inventory. You are carrying an EMPTY STAR WARS COFFEE MUG and an INFLATED SENSE OF YOUR OWN SELF-WORTH. What do you do?

>> go north

You travel north, down the FLIGHT OF STAIRS.

The journey is long and harrowing.

The wind blows.

In the distance, you hear the DARK RIDERS howl.

The ONE RING weighs heavy on its chain.

You reach the bottom of the FLIGHT OF STAIRS.

The STAIR GATE blocks your path.

The TINY GUARDIAN is looking at you like he’s just spilled Cheerios all over the floor in the other room – like he laid some fucking kind of Cheerio minefield.

What do you do?

>>go back upstairs and make space marines