Aaron Dembski-Bowden

Don't worry. None of this blood is mine.

The Coffee Adventure

You stand in the hallway. To the east is an OFFICE. To the west is a BEDROOM. To the south is a BOOKSHELF with many INTERESTING TOMES. To the north is a STAIRCASE with a GATE and a TINY GUARDIAN. What do you do?

>> chk inv

That is not a valid command. What do you do?

>>check inventory

You check your inventory. You are carrying an EMPTY STAR WARS COFFEE MUG and an INFLATED SENSE OF YOUR OWN SELF-WORTH. What do you do?

>> go north


You travel north, down the FLIGHT OF STAIRS.

The journey is long and harrowing.

The wind blows.

In the distance, you hear the DARK RIDERS howl.

The ONE RING weighs heavy on its chain.

You reach the bottom of the FLIGHT OF STAIRS.


The STAIR GATE blocks your path.

The TINY GUARDIAN is looking at you like he’s just spilled Cheerios all over the floor in the other room – like he laid some fucking kind of Cheerio minefield.

What do you do?

>>go back upstairs and make space marines

December 3, 2012 - Posted by | Uncategorized |


  1. And the gatekeeper said “I used to be an brave adventure like you… until I took a pacifier to the mouth!”

    Comment by Forkmaster | December 3, 2012 | Reply

  2. That’s one cute baby! A very imaginative blog post!

    Comment by Matthew Sylvester | December 3, 2012 | Reply

  3. “And with your dying breath, you wonder what parapets are…” Reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R22zSrpeSA4

    Comment by lygris | December 3, 2012 | Reply

    • Ah man. I screwed up… the parapets joke was only from the flash game spin off of this. Nevermind.

      Comment by lygris | December 3, 2012 | Reply

  4. Incidentally, was there a Cheerio minefield?

    Comment by Lysander45 | December 3, 2012 | Reply

  5. Happy looking baby! 😀 And you never did finish that one game from a couple of years ago on another blog.

    Comment by John the Great | December 3, 2012 | Reply

  6. I assume you made space marines until the queen told you to clean the mess up?

    Also you forgot to add Chaos in front of Space Marines. Otherwise it’s unacceptable. 🙂

    Comment by Lord of the Night | December 3, 2012 | Reply

  7. Coco pops minefields are even worse, you find them little buggers for weeks after… in places you never deemed possible! Be thankful he didn’t add the milk too.

    Comment by KerriFitz (randombeasty) | December 3, 2012 | Reply

  8. What a great adventure! Moar plz 🙂

    Comment by theredrenegade | December 3, 2012 | Reply

  9. But what is under the mat?
    Rusty key or trapdoor

    Comment by Will W. | December 4, 2012 | Reply

  10. adorable!

    Comment by Daniel D | December 4, 2012 | Reply

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