Aaron Dembski-Bowden

Don't worry. None of this blood is mine.

Neil Armstrong – He Dead

Neil Armstrong died today.

A few hours ago, or something.

He was, in every imaginable way, possessed of the Right Stuff. A hero of the human race, to the point where even his sweat stank with the musky spice of courage.

I, like every other useless cunt on this wonderful world, have nothing but depthless admiration for him, and I’ve felt the guilty shadow of emotional investment in his achievements, as if I had anything to do with them beyond the sheer dumb luck of being born in the same species. “We” made it to the moon, like I did anything 11 years before I was born, in a field I’m too much of a coward and an idiot to ever take part in.

What he did, and how he did it, will forever remain inscribed upon the sphere of human knowledge. A name that’ll never be forgotten.

I’m not ashamed to admit I sat in stunned, melancholy silence for a few minutes after I found out, and read several news articles hoping it wasn’t true – or that his final moments had somehow been as vital and enlightening and world-changing as those first steps on the moon. Like anyone without their head up their own arse, I’m mourning a hero.

And yet.

And yet.

It’s a sad testimony to me as person that this is actually the most emotional photo I’ve seen today, and it made me burst into tears. The kind of crying you do as a kid, when something is so insanely uplifting that losing your shit with a huge grin and leaking ocular saltwater is all your body will allow you to do. A rather more immediate reaction than my otherwise sincere mourning, and I’d like to apologise to Neil Armstrong’s ghost/zombie for the injustice done to him by my too-human heart.

Stop hugging him.

You’re making me cry.

August 25, 2012 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. Damn well put.

    Comment by J. Nathaniel Berke | August 25, 2012 | Reply

  2. Well said Aaron, and I’m sure he would forgive you. RIP Neil Armstrong.

    Comment by David Moran | August 25, 2012 | Reply

  3. Requiescat in Pace, Space Cowboy.


    Comment by Phillip Calaway (TEC) | August 25, 2012 | Reply

  4. Now you’re making me cry Aaron. I was holding it just fine until I read your blog. Well said mate. Goodbye Neil.

    Comment by badwolfkiller | August 25, 2012 | Reply

  5. Well, that absolutely sucks donkey phallus.

    Very well put, Aaron.
    R.I.P Neil Armstrong.

    Comment by Dom. | August 25, 2012 | Reply

  6. Right alongside Mr. Spock and Darth Vader, Neil Armstrong stood upon a pinnacle of personal idolization. Inasmuch as I detest using the sobriquet of “hero” to describe anyone, he was truly a Champion who never lost his lustre.

    Comment by Khestra the Unbeheld | August 25, 2012 | Reply

  7. Same as me mate; I was hoping it wasn’t true!

    Comment by shavenwookiee | August 26, 2012 | Reply

  8. My favorite, as an American, has always been Ken Mattingly. Mattingly is the only person, the only ONE, who went to the Moon, and also flew the Space Shuttle. Twice. He flew the most complex machine ever constructed, and one of the most dangerous it turned out, twice simply because he wanted to turn science fiction into science.
    America’s greatest modern heroes have always been then men and women of NASA. I am glad Neil meant something to you as well.

    Comment by stereoisomer | August 26, 2012 | Reply

  9. Don’t be so harsh on yourself. I cheated on my girlfriend the night Neil Armstrong died. Talk about great accomplishments of the human race eh?

    Comment by Flying_Dutchman | August 26, 2012 | Reply

  10. I thought Christopher Lloyd was already dead. I feel much better about that last photo. Alright, Michael J Fox is still really poorly (although he has started acting again, so good on him) but I was sure Christopher Lloyd died about 5 years ago, so he’s looking really well to me.

    But my favourite Neil Armstrong story is that he had to manually land the lunar module and there is a moment of silence as it’s coming down while he deals with the optical illusions of the craters. Because everything was black and white, it became difficult to tell which bits were crests and which bits were ditches. Apparently, it took him a minute to get his head around this and there was tense silence over the radio, then: “The Eagle has landed.”

    Comment by G | August 26, 2012 | Reply

  11. I forgot to mention above that sadly, Sally Ride, the first American woman in space died about a month ago from pancreatic cancer. She was 61, much too young. Here’s the CNN link: http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/23/us/sally-ride-dead/index.html

    Comment by stereoisomer | August 27, 2012 | Reply

  12. I always knew they were badass but not how badass.
    They all belived that it was going to be a one way trip,so many things had to go perfect for them to return home.
    They were sure it was going to be a sacrafice for man,glad they were wrong and he got another 50 or so years

    Comment by Will Wright | August 29, 2012 | Reply

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