It Wakes Up At Night
Here’s a picture of me, the other night, as Katie and I finished Fuchsia’s nursery, and finally put away all the clothes and toys our families and friends have been awesome enough to send us.
The reason I look confused isn’t because I’m scared and lost and holding up clothing for a future person who only exists right now in Katie’s tummy.
No.
The reason I look confused is because that bear behind me is actually alive, and none of us know how that’s possible.
It goes through my bins at night, and occasionally eats my Frosties. Here we see it going through Fuchsia’s stuff, perhaps looking for a copy of The Very Hungry Caterpillar, which is objectively the best book ever.
And here’s the little fucker five minutes later, looking decidedly Blair Witchy:
So anyway, that’s what’s going on in my life right now.
How are you?
Aaron Dembski-Bowden 
I’m great, up at 2am reading about your little Blair Witch bear.
I approve of this.
True to form, I’m up to student business. Homework, written assignments, writing some 40k fan fiction (more as a written exercise than anything else, English isn’t my native language, so I need practice), playing Skyrim, eagerly holding my breath and anticipating the holidays next week. Oh, and surfing the internet. Obviously.
A Nanny bear with Issues….Freaky! though somewhat loveable. Not long now for You guys ? good luck and best wishes from Me and Mine
I didn’t know you guys were expecting. Congratulations to you both.
Is that a mean reference to how much I talk about it?
Now I hate you.
When my now 20 year old daughter was little, she LOVED all miniature toys (unfortunately this was before I had discovered 40K). Particularly puppies, kitties, and Disney characters such as Dwarfs and 101 Dalmations. Being loving parents, we obliged and she had a very large collection. One early morning, when she would have been around age 4 or so, I spent 30 minutes setting all of them up along the bathroom counter, tub ledge, window sill, and any other flat surface in her bathroom…all facing the door. When she walked into that bathroom later that morning…she screamed. Not in fear, but with excitement that she had “finally” caught all of her toys playing while she slept (something that she had been suspecting for quite some time).
Sounds like your bear may be of the same mind. Enjoy!
This is possibly the best thing I’ve read on the internets this year!
Glad you enjoyed it Dave! We’ve enjoyed telling that story for almost two decades now. She also used to sneak down the hall to try to catch them playing…constantly!
So every time you now hear a sound you don’t recognise when trying to get to sleep, the first thought will be “I wonder what that damn bear is up to now”. I hope his name isn’t Johnny btw. And all good in the hood at this end thanks.
One day Aaron, you’re going to wake up and the 1st thing you’ll see, is that bear staring straight at you from a few inches away.
Enjoy that thought 😛
I lol’d.
Just got 3 of your books out from the library 🙂
CS
The bear. It is watching you…
We’re going on a bear hunt, we’re going to catch a big one.
The ad on this post is Smokey telling me that only I can prevent forest fires.
In context he clearly means that I must destroy the bear, or at least make you aware of the fact that you should keep him away from matches. Can’t be too careful.
Just in case no one had already made this connection – ‘The Bear Witch Project’
Take it, it’s yours.
I almost asked the stupidest question:
“Why is it wearing a hat indoors?”
Clearly: Peer pressure.
I don’t understand the earphones.
It’s to keep his hat on ( which i don’t understand the constant wearing of ).
This i could understand. -http://beardbeanie.com/products.html
Headphones are a means of listening to music, which Wikipedia defines as: “an art form whose medium is sound and silence. Its common elements are pitch (which governs melody and harmony), rhythm (and its associated concepts tempo, meter, and articulation), dynamics, and the sonic qualities of timbre and texture.”
I like hats.
He does indeed like hats. And turtles!
As Long As It Don’t Turn Out Like That Terrifying Bear (Possibly A Koala) From Look Who’s Talking (Possibly The Second Movie; Look Who’s Talking Two/Too. I Will Now Cease Being An Idiot Who Can’t Remember Stuff Good And Silt).
I’m doing good, there’s snow outside and the even better chance work could be cancelled because of it! If that bear starts changing into a panda, koala, grizzly bear, Winnie the Pooh, maybe it’s time to send it up to the attic. Have to teach it a lesson somehow.
I’m sure that hat is an attempt to conceal the stigmata of mutation. *texts Grey Knights*
You are mistaken: Go Away, Big Green Monster by Ed Emberley is the best children’s book ever. Try it. Everyone loves it.
At least all the cool people.
No way Clifford the Big Red Dog or this gem by one of your buddies ,Banana shop
http://books.google.com.au/books?id=-1wuAAAACAAJ&source=gbs_similarbooks_r&cad=2
Well I’ve been to Brussels for my EPSO (European Personnel Selection Office) interviews, have another set of translation exams in March so that I can work with one of the EU’s many translation units hopefully. Managed to get my hands on a gold ticket for the Black Library Weekender as well which cheered me up immensely. I like your Fuschia blogs, they show a more humane side of you and I think that you’ll be a great father for your daughter.
This man might object to the Hungry Catapillar being the best kids book out there
http://books.google.com.au/books?id=-1wuAAAACAAJ&source=gbs_similarbooks_r&cad=2
I’ve spent the last hour and a half looking for a website that sells beanies for people with stupidly large heads. Where do you get yours?
That’s not a cruel joke about your abnormally large head by the way. I genuinely am looking for a hat much like yours and the internet has failed me yet again.
I guess it is a joke now though. Sort of.
I love the oversized ones, even if they’re baggy as fuck and occasionally flop about. Try Urban Excess; that’s where I get mine from.
Hey dude, question: can Marines live forever or not? The issue’s come up, and I’m wondering, because there is no real consensus in the lore.
I cannot believe noone has mentioned The Very Hungry Caterpillar in the comments yet: it is a truely outstanding volume. Are you aware that there is a rock musical version of the tale, performed by comedian Mitch Benn? It is well worth a listen. I suggest playing it to young Alexander while he sleeps, to improve his learning abilities subconsciously (that’s why you play babies music while they sleep isn’t it?). That, or it will just help him develop an unhealthy obsession with caterpillars, which is also good. More original than dinosaurs, or robots, or robot dinosaurs anyway.