Aaron Dembski-Bowden

Don't worry. None of this blood is mine.

The Wedding Countdown Begins (also, WoW talk)

I recently begged one of my editors for a short story / novella / project / “anything, man…” / to get some extra money together, so I could help my cousin Lisa haul her ass over from Canada and watch me get married. While that’s good for me – and, presumably, for her – it also spawned a project that I’ve been dying to write for ages. More on that towards the end of the year. The deadline’s tight, and I literally can’t miss this one.

Yes, it involves the Night Lords. That’s all I’m saying.

I’m working on getting the New York photos uploaded soon, as well as a few other things. It’s the last few weeks before the wedding, and everything has shifted gear. We’re pretty much ready now, but there’s still jazz to be done in the countdown.

Work-wise, I’m in the second half of The Emperor’s Gift, which is still over a year away from release. Next in line is Void Stalker, the final novel in the Night Lords trilogy. I keep getting asked if there’ll be another trilogy, and it’s not something I can answer with any reliability. If there is, it’ll be years away. It’s not on my radar, as I’m busy for the next 3 or 4 years with other things, and (hopefully) those projects will carry on even longer. I do have plans to do a very long-lasting Chaos series at some point, but it wouldn’t be about First Claw. That said, the elements of the series that I really like (which are thankfully the same elements that other people have really liked) will likely feature in that series, too. It’s just a thematic thing. I’m interested in X, Y and Z, so X, Y and Z will show up if there’s room for them in a realistic narrative.

A solid chunk of 2012 will be taken up by writing my next HH novel, which I’m immensely looking forward to. There’s some other stuff that still hasn’t been announced, but I can say I should be able to show the cover for Aurelian soon. I’ll just say this: it redefines the word Cool. It’s saturated with toxic badassery to the point where it now bleeds pure liquid radness from all the ruptures in its seams. In my less-than-humble opinion, it’s easily the best cover in the Horus Heresy series, including the covers of a couple that you guys haven’t seen yet.

I usually have a short story on the go as well as a novel. Right now, it’s an audio drama for the Horus Heresy. Other, more professional writers will say something like “Audio dramas always present me with a unique set of challenges”, but I’ll break that down a little more for you. I find them fucking weird. I was against the whole concept of them until I did one, and since then I’ve found them a lot of fun. Throne of Lies came out great, bar a couple of lines where I cringe and think “Oh, Holy God, that sentence wasn’t written to be spoken out loud.”

Annabelle’s Blood is slowly reaching the point where I can send it to an agent – and beyond – but I have even less time than ever to crack away at it. I’ve practically quit WoW (insert sad smiley here) because I’m so busy, and three weeks off-work with New York and Nottingham meetings really didn’t help. Time to nut up or shut up.

However, in the name of my intense devotion to slackerhood, here are some of the WoW vids I’ve been watching lately.

I like the funny ones. I like the cool ones. I like the ones with good production values.

I don’t like the ones that go on about being a loser in the real world, and a badass in a video game. I thought that was hilarious when I was a kid, but it’s wearing a little thin now. My issue comes from the bizarre assumption that video games are any different from books or movies. It’s not some desperate escapism, or some creepy empowerment, any more than reading a novel or watching a movie is done with some fierce need to Be Someone Else. You don’t play a game and think “I really am this zombie ninja”. So why are so many of the geek cultural references still playing to that bullshit? Even Jace Hall does it. I love him, but he should totally know better.

I’ll end this bromance, Jace. I’m not even kidding. I don’t care how rad your Street Fighter video is. I’ll cut you loose, like a clingy Titanic survivor in the night. You’ll freeze. You’ll drown. You’ll totally die without the warmth of my distant regard. Let that be a warning.

Anyway, if you actually understand WoW, you’ll know what these lyrics mean. If you don’t, you really won’t.

None of these are the ultra-professional ones (like the Guild or Jace Hall), or the Blizzard ones they do themselves. Still, they’re fearsome.

Behold the glories of “Don’t Trust a Rogue”. I admit, I’m biased, since I play a rogue. This is still adorable. It’s a parody of “Don’t Trust Me” by 3OH!3, who are already both excellently funny and totally rad.

“She wants to sap you, woah-oh… She wants to stab you, woah-oh…”

This is a decent insight into what it’s like to be a rogue, especially with people always asking you to pick locks for them. I find this especially melancholy, since they nerfed Tricks of the Trade, annihilating the Adrenaline Rush/Fan of Knives opener. Ahem. I can just imagine my non-WoW playing friends looking at me like I’m an idiot right there, but it had to be said.

—    —   —

This is “Ulduar”, based on the Titan’s fortress in Storm Peaks.

Please note, the best thing about Ulduar in the game is saying it out loud, as it’s one of those all-time great words, feeling like warm brandy in the mouth. Ooldooarr. Oh, yes. All the best words are at least 50% nouns. Words like… Aaron, for example. I’m just saying.

Anyway, this is a parody of “The Way I Are”, by yet another asshole who gets paid millions of dollars to mumble into auto-tune all the time. Wherever Timbaland is right now, I hope he’s proud of his part in killing music, as well as his fucking appalling grammar.

—   —   —

This is L70ETC’s “Rogues Do It From Behind”, which is one of their dead famous songs. However, this video got Second Place in the EU make-a-video contest a while back, and is especially notable because a) It’s awesome; b) it’s about rogues, and c) I was in a guild with this guy, and he was a really nice dude.

He was robbed.

—   —   —

This is “Horde for Life”, which is a parody of T.I. and Rihanna’s “Live your Life”. The production values aren’t perfect, and their voices run together a little, but it’s still a cute song. Gigi’s voice is always ace, anyway.

And remember kids, if it’s not For the Emperor, then it’s For the Horde.

June 9, 2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized |

22 Comments »

  1. All great songs, I applaud your taste sir! 😀

    (If this shows up twice it’s because the first one didn’t show up. >_>)

    Comment by Owen Buchanan | June 9, 2011 | Reply

  2. The Ulduar video is awesome 🙂 I have the audio track too, and it is one of my favourite machinima tracks from WoW. Where L70ETC is concerned or 80 or 85 or whatever the hell they are now (FKAL80ETC?) I think their best is ‘I am Murloc’.

    And I actually like Timbaland 😦

    Comment by AJ | June 9, 2011 | Reply

  3. If it means another Night Lords short story / novella / project / “anything, man…”, feel free to get married every year.

    Personally, I’m really looking forward to reading more about the NL during the heresy, and especially about Sevatar.

    Comment by Seregon | June 9, 2011 | Reply

  4. Hmm. “Aurelian?” Sounds like Marcus Aurelius, Roman…Roman…wait, no, tell me you are doing some Ultramarines! Or am I just wishfully thinking?

    Comment by Alecto | June 9, 2011 | Reply

    • It’s Lorgar’s surname. It was all over The First Heretic. You, sir, are a cad and a bounder.

      Comment by aarondembskibowden | June 9, 2011 | Reply

      • Hmm. Apparently an Aurelian is someone who likes butterflies. Lorgar eh, who knew?! http://bit.ly/leRza2

        Comment by Nazaradine | June 10, 2011

      • Ho-hum. I put heads for Helsreach and tails for TFH. It came up heads.

        Comment by Alecto | June 10, 2011

  5. FYI, it’s beyond OMGWTFLOL for Lisa.

    Suffice it to say, I AM EXCITE. 😀 ❤

    Comment by Lis0r | June 9, 2011 | Reply

    • I always wonder if girls think in CAPS LOCK as much as they type it.

      Being a girl would be weird.

      Comment by aarondembskibowden | June 9, 2011 | Reply

  6. One of my favourate song lines ever is from that 3oh!3 song: “Tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got beef, that i’m a vegetarian and i’m not fucking scared of him!”

    Comment by Tom | June 9, 2011 | Reply

  7. “3OH!3, who are already both excellently funny and totally rad.”
    That’s some pretty heavy sarcasm right there, right? Right?

    “lines where I cringe and think “Oh, Holy God, that sentence wasn’t written to be spoken out loud.””
    You mean you don’t read everything out loud as we were taught in Uni?

    Comment by G | June 9, 2011 | Reply

  8. My Rogue is totaly in ‘Rogues do it from behind’. I’m still proud.

    Comment by Katie | June 9, 2011 | Reply

  9. More great work from ADB 🙂 can’t wait. Especially when it’s a Night Lords project. I’m looking forward to it!

    Comment by Christopher Meyer | June 9, 2011 | Reply

  10. Oh some new Night Lords action. I will get my teeth into “The Core” as soon as Im done with “Battle for the Fang” and probably “Fall of Damnos”. It sucks that youre so busy but at the same time, it means so much more for the rest of us. The Grey Knights story seems interesting. I read somewhere the sequal will take place during the First War of Armageddon.

    Comment by Forkmaster | June 9, 2011 | Reply

  11. what, where they are fighting mr big,red and angry aka agron?….awsome

    Comment by J.Sibley | June 10, 2011 | Reply

  12. Any chance of a sneaky peak at the Aurelian cover? 😉 You’re happy to take it (I assume) when reviewers call you the enfant terrible of Black Library who makes the bosses there lose sleep – prove it! :p

    Hanging for the next Lorgar story btw.

    Comment by Aegnor | June 10, 2011 | Reply

  13. Heh, Rogues are so much fun to play in WoW. One of the new fortunes a friend got that she then passed to me: Never trust a Troll. Never trust a Rogue. Especially a troll rogue. I play a troll rogue and loved that.

    Comment by DarkMechanicum | June 11, 2011 | Reply

  14. Regards from Alliance Mage that got sometimes struck simultaneously by two or three horde rogues)

    Your ‘The First Heretic’ incited a contemplative state of mind that lasts for… a half of year now(?), and I still think about the avatar-ishness of the primarchs, that Kor Phaeron described in his ‘please don’t qq’ rant…

    So if I understood it correctly, he meant that Lorgar represents, unlike his counter RJ (or Dorne?) external magnificence of the Emperor, but not his inner greatness and vision? Or was it something else ?

    Cheers from Russia, Alex.

    Comment by Alex | June 13, 2011 | Reply

  15. Erm, not to be a killjoy and risk potential death at ADB’s hands but the cover of Aurelian is in the new BL preview catalogue just out….and yes, IT IS COOL.

    Comment by S | June 15, 2011 | Reply

    • You misunderstand, sir.

      My life is a series of emails saying “Look, Aaron, please don’t show cover X until we do.” Once they do, it’s fair game.

      Comment by aarondembskibowden | June 15, 2011 | Reply

  16. Ah okay, well to the rest of the people here, it is cool. I’ve been almost explicitly told by my girlfriend that “if you spend 40 quid on a book for a third time (yeah I didn’t get Iron Warrior, I hate me for it too…I wasn’t quick enough off the mark!) Whilst we’re trying to save for our first house, I’m leaving you”. I’ll miss her.

    Comment by S | June 15, 2011 | Reply


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