Aaron Dembski-Bowden

Don't worry. None of this blood is mine.

22 Days

The power came back on about an hour ago. I’d spent my morning and afternoon in the Dark Ages, tidying the house, moving furniture, going for a walk and doing my requisite daily 20 mins of cardio, in a vain effort not to be such a fat sack of crap.

No kidding; I was working it out the other day – I’ve hated the way I’ve looked for so long now that practically the only photographic evidence of my existence for the last five years is the stuff taken by people at signings and conventions. That said, the weight’s been falling off for a while (lost 10lbs since Games Day), it’s just with interminable slowness. So I’m trying to speed that shit up, for the sake of my wedding photos (in the short-term) and my self-esteem (in the long-term).

I mean, believe it or not, I used to be handsome. Sort of. A bit. Kinda. Maybe.

I’m only 30. I should still be handsome, damn it.


A few minutes ago, as I was going through the usual forum scans, I heard a loud chorus of meow-meowowowow-meowwwwww from outside. It wasn’t one of the local farm cats, as they’re variously silent, shrieky or whiny. It also wasn’t our neighbours’ (Katie’s parents) cats, as they’re usually much quieter when they make any noise at all.

I knew this sound. I knew it well. I hadn’t heard it in a while, though.

I trudged downstairs, and there he was, sat on the windowsill – outside looking in, despite the fact the front door was open and every window was wide to suck up some of the Spring love.

Our eyes met – mine, arctic blue; his, the green of good jade.

“Hello Loken,” I said. “You look fatter.”

He said nothing, but I felt that he was thinking the same about me.

Silence reigned between us for several moments. Then, with astuteness I’d not come to miss, he said “Meowowowowowowroaaoaoaww.”

I said “Indeed”, and picked him up. “The door is open, you know. I mean you can see that, right?”

“Purrrrrrrrrrrrr,” he said, and began an intensive campaign of head-bumpies and paddy-paws, in a quest to be carried around until a worthwhile human would sit down and form a lap-based feline throne.

“You saved me buying three weeks’ of catfood,” I told him. “I appreciate that. I spent it on Forge World toys.”

He seemed to know, deep down, that I’d do such a thing. His knowing eyes told the truth.

So here he is again. Sat on my lap as I type this, purring and bumping his head against me, grumbling in the quest for attention he doesn’t deserve.

So he's not dead then. That's two Lokens who survive against the odds.

And so ends my 22 days of peace.

Where have you been, little traveler? Wherever it was, it looks like they bloody fed you well enough.

April 22, 2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized | ,


  1. Do you ever think that Loken is some sort of super spy and his long disappearances are just when he goes off on missions? Cause I do.

    Comment by Myth the Great | April 22, 2011 | Reply

  2. Brilliant.

    Comment by Rob Ashley White | April 22, 2011 | Reply

  3. The eyes….They look into your very soul!

    Welcome back, Lokie!

    Comment by FoxyStoat | April 22, 2011 | Reply

  4. I did not know you wore glasses! :O I must say the conversations with your cat looks more fruitful than several girls I know.

    And you did what every Warhammer nerd would do. ^^ Buy FW-stuff.

    Comment by Forkmaster | April 22, 2011 | Reply

    • I don’t wear them often; or rather, I don’t need to wear them much. Legally, I need them to see license plates when I drive, and stuff like that. I can write and watch screens without them, but I get headaches after a while.

      The usual “a bit short-sighted” crap, really.

      Comment by aarondembskibowden | April 22, 2011 | Reply

      • Got the same problem myself but I can fortunately sit by screens without headache and television if Im close enough but its not recomended!

        Comment by Forkmaster | April 22, 2011 | Reply

  5. This is a very sweet little post. Nice to have back a faithful friend with whom life is better, despite the vomit on the kitchen floor.

    Comment by Tim Kenyon | April 22, 2011 | Reply

  6. Yay! Lokie came back!

    Comment by Sarah Cawkwell | April 22, 2011 | Reply

  7. Ben suggests that he has spent the past few weeks eating out with Special Agent Pastrycock whilst stationed on a mountainside in Afghanistan.

    Comment by Sarah Cawkwell | April 22, 2011 | Reply

  8. Don’t get down about weight loss. It took me FOREVER to lose 25 lbs and I work out all the time. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Trust me, the weight will drop.

    And glad to see you have your kitteh back 🙂

    Comment by Christopher Meyer | April 22, 2011 | Reply

    • I can’t get it download either. Will this be addressed soon? Age of Darkness and other books work fine…

      Comment by A | April 23, 2011 | Reply

  9. In other non-cat related news- Am I the only one whose Blood Reaver ebook(s) won’t download from the BL website….

    I was hoping to see great rage/furious anger, and/or petulant fanboy whining from other increasing desperate losers… any chance of a little help??

    Comment by CON960 | April 22, 2011 | Reply

  10. Dude, loosing weight is about 75% diet, 25% exercise. I’m pretty broad and tall so it didn’t show too much, but I hit 18.5 stone. Proper fat fuck according to the hospital when I needed surgery and my BMI was over the limit (although the nurse thought it was balls because I was clearly not obese).

    Anyway, my point is, working out is all well and good for toning muscle etc, but unless you take a long hard look at your diet it will be an uphill struggle.

    I went down to eating 1400 calories a day (on average) and lost about 5 stone in a little over a year.

    Good luck man.

    Comment by Chris | April 22, 2011 | Reply

  11. So the power came back on and then Loken came back, coincidence ??? I’d watch him carefully, perhaps get a rottweiler called Abaddon to keep an eye on him… On second thoughts perhaps that might not work out so well

    Comment by cjp180 | April 23, 2011 | Reply

  12. Your not the only one who can’t get Blood Reaver through BL. The download seems broken for almost everyone. Will anyone work on this before the holidays over? Its kind of ridiculous…

    Comment by Pat | April 23, 2011 | Reply

  13. You know Loken sold you out for a nieghbor who was probally feeding it better tasteing food.
    Cats are messed up like that.
    Any cat ladies on your block?
    That might of been like Lokens Spring Break,young kittens getting drunk showing off thier starfish for a T-shirts,catnip everywhere,you know good times :p

    Comment by Bigwill | April 23, 2011 | Reply

  14. A little tip from an guy like you who was normal and then shot up 20lbs out of nowhere
    (Are’nt your 30’s great)
    Eat 5-6 smaller meals rather than 3 big ones.
    The body can only process so many calories so fast,so when you eat a big meal your body will use up like the 300-350 calories from the meal then anything left over becomes waste and fat.
    The smaller meal will burn off in a couple of hours and that process speeds up the metabolism.
    And like you said Cardio is a must after 30.
    I find the ellipical the best use of my time,that thing make you burn 100 calories every 10 minutes,150 if you work out to Slayer 😉

    Comment by Bigwill | April 23, 2011 | Reply

  15. At least this Loken didn’t go crazy for a year like the other one.

    Comment by TheSGC | April 24, 2011 | Reply

  16. Cheers from Russia Aaron, I want to thank you for the amazing books you write (and the BL for the opportunity to buy them in electronic form, as it took 3-4 full weeks to get them via conventional mail…

    I wanted to ask you, since BL support doesn’t reply to my e-mails, if the ‘Blood Reaver’ has been published, because of the following:
    1. First I pre-ordered the book and waited until 22nd of April and tried to download it, with no result (some kind of error was displayed), until I got the ‘you exceeded your download limit, please contact xxx…’
    I tried to mail several times, to no effect as of yet.
    2. Apparently to prove my own imbecility, I bought it again today, with the same effect.

    And now I noticed that the book is still in ‘preorder’ for paperback edition, so my first assumption is that it’s not out yet. Could you please enlighten me whether it’s true?

    I apologize if my English skills are not on par, and humbly beg forgiveness from you.

    Comment by Alex | April 25, 2011 | Reply

    • Hey Alex,

      Just to alleviate your fears, I (and others, from what I’ve read on forums) have had the same problem. I believe you get some kind of runtime error when you try to download the ebook from the Black Library website, and they’re not responding to emails because there was some sort of holiday on Friday & today in the UK.

      Anyways, I think (hope) Black Library will get it fixed tomorrow when they return to work. If not, I may have to make some long distance calls…

      Comment by Chinh Tran | April 26, 2011 | Reply

  17. IT’S A TRAP!

    Comment by Flux | April 26, 2011 | Reply

  18. that cat is too damn cute for it’s own good

    Comment by Elliot Yung | December 10, 2012 | Reply

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