Yes, yes. Priceless.
No, this isn’t permanent. It’s purely because we’ve had no razors in the house for weeks (I’m poor; shut your mouth), and wanted to entertain myself before finally shaving off 6 weeks of fluff now my last set of royalties has cleared.
Yes, I’m aware I look a little bit like Tim Bisley and/or Jim Gaffigan.
Yes, I’m aware Tim Bisley was a loser and Jim Gaffigan is scruffy and overweight.
Yes, I’m aware I have a chicken pox scar on my forehead and my smile has been one-sided since childhood, thus making me look like I had a stroke. It was really just meningitis at age 8.
Now that I’ve insulted myself and headed you cunts off at the pass, you can refrain from being mean. I call this technique “Pre-sulting”, which is a scheme I can teach to your office, oil rig, or other place of business for the bargain price of $999.99 (before expenses).
By the way, I totally have a Horus Heresy meeting tomorrow. I promise to tell you all about it.